dinsdag 29 oktober 2024

Bipolar disorder

Being a manic-depressive - or bipolar as it is now commonly referred to - was determined a few decades ago, while living in Lelystad. Part of it may have been "passed down" from my own father, who also had a bipolar disorder. 

This Summer it dawned on me that I'm aware when a depression is setting in, but I had never felt any advance warning for a manic episode? Was that just me, or...? At the time I did not look into the question any further, but recently I was looking up something else and found answers on Internet...

No, I was not educated to identify an oncoming manic episode, or what situation, like divorce or losing your home, might trigger an episode. I was never "managed" or educated by an interprofessional team. 

So, sadly, looking back, I became the "poster child" for a bipolar disorder patient, including times when I stopped taking my medication, making bad choices, and now being stuck with no way forward or reverse. 


Source: 
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK493168/ 

  • Deterrence and Patient Education

It is important for patients to be educated regarding the episodic nature of mania as well as how to identify the initial manifestations, heralding an oncoming episode.


  • Prognosis

The prognosis of manic patients is favorable, granted they are adherent to medications and therapy. Some factors associated with a poorer outcome are a history of abuse, psychosis, low socioeconomic status, comorbid illness, or young age of onset.


  • Complications

The sequelae from a manic episode can be detrimental. Those suffering from mania often act with impropriety, ruining reputations and careers. More consequential complications include physical harm to others and self.


  • Pearls and Other Issues

One of the major illnesses which may mimic bipolar disorder and have manic-like symptoms is cyclothymic disorder. Cyclothymic patients may have large mood swings which do not meet the full criteria for a manic or hypomanic episode. These patients may also have many periods of depression. The criteria for cyclothymic disorder involve having many hypomanic or depressed symptoms on and off for at least 2 years that do not remit for more than 2 consecutive months. The symptoms in cyclothymia must cause significant social or occupational impairment and cannot be better explained by substance abuse.


  • Enhancing Healthcare Team Outcomes

Manic patients are very difficult to manage and hence an interprofessional team consisting of a mental health nurse, psychologist, psychiatrist, and primary care provider is required. Once the acute episode is managed, patients will need a prophylactic agent to prevent a recurrence. Unfortunately, patient compliance with medications is low and relapses are common.

The outcomes for patients with mania are guarded. Those who do no comply with treatment eventually run into problems with the law and/or are forced to take medications via injection.



vrijdag 30 oktober 2020

Log Cabin(s)


The Pros and Cons of Log Homes

Decorating a Vacation Home on a Budget

Ever dream of having your own cozy cabin in the mountains, or a quaint lakeside retreat? Do you want to capture the natural beauty of pioneer days while also enjoying the amenities of the modern age? If so, then a custom log home could be for you.

Unlike the log cabins of early American times, today’s log homes offer innovative designs that create a comfortable, yet upscale feel. Most of today’s log homes feature cathedral ceilings for an open, airy feel as well as grand stone fireplaces and modern kitchens. With such a perfect combination of luxury and laid-back comfort, it’s no wonder so many people are gravitating toward this historic home design trend. However, before you decide to jump on the log home bandwagon, there are a few things you should know. Log homes have a lot of unique benefits, but they also have unique drawbacks.

Here’s a look at the pros and cons of today’s custom log home construction:
PRO: Green Building Material

The “Green Movement” is in full swing, as home buyers are becoming more eco-conscious and home builders are doing what they can to follow suit. We know what you’re thinking… “How are log homes “green”? They use logs from trees, and isn’t killing trees wrong?” Today’s environmentally-conscious builders opt for materials from sustainable forests, which means the trees are grown specifically for the purpose of being cut down. By having a supply of trees from a renewable, sustainable source, the rest of the world’s forests can be saved.

Another green aspect of log homes is the fact that manufacturers utilize all portions of the log to keep waste at a minimum. According to the National Association of Home Builders, “They use everything from bark…to wood scraps that become raw material used in carvings and other home products.”

CON: Higher Maintenance Level

According to an article from Blue Ridge Country magazine, log homes often require a lot more maintenance than people think. This is because over time, the logs will likely shift, expand and contract with the changes in environment. Pests can be another nuisance, as the damage they cause is usually not covered by homeowners insurance. Carpenter bees and termites are the most common pests, according to Blue Ridge Country. When buying a log home, educate yourself on the best way to prevent and treat damage from these pests.

PRO: Energy Efficient

Log homes are great at maintaining temperature and conserving energy. This is due to the massiveness of the logs and their ability to absorb heat during the day and radiate it at night. This helps keep the home comfortable without having to rely as much on your HVAC. According to a NAHB study, homes constructed with solid log walls are generally 2.5% to 15% more energy efficient than standard stick-frame construction.

CON: Insurance Can Be Tough To Find

Log homes are insured a bit differently that regular homes. A lot of major insurance providers do not offer coverage for this unique home type. You’ll need to do some research to find a reputable company that offers log home insurance. The manufacturer may be able to provide you with some options.

PRO: Available in Kits
Log homes can be shipped in kits or packages with most (if not all) the materials delivered at once. This not only helps reduce fuel costs and carbon emissions, it allows a fairly easy method for constructing the home. “The pieces included in the kits are designed to fit perfectly together for a pre-designed plan,” according to Blue Ridge Country. Not all kits come with everything you need, however, so make sure you know what your kit contains before ordering.

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One thing to consider when (thinking of) building a house in most parts of Italy is earthquake resistance.

The superior structural qualities of log homes also serve to provide enhanced protection in the event of an earthquake. In addition, the flexible nature of the logs tends to outperform other types of construction, particularly brick, block and masonry homes that are much more brittle and susceptible to seismic stress.

Here is a Log Home that was in a 7,8 quake; it cannot be repaired but the people inside survived!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnkRB1LmhLc   (7,8 Richter is about 1,000,000,000 times stronger as what struck Tuscany in the "recent" past!!)

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The bungalow that suits our needs:








"Mijn (alternatieve) Ontwerp" 






maandag 18 februari 2019

(I) Dreams to Reality :-)



(Happy are those who dream)
Dreams!


… and are willing to pay the price 
to make them come true!


Chapter I

For some 45 years by now – give or take – I have had, deep in the back of my mind, a dream to “one day” own an old house or farm or something, to restore and enjoy as a holiday place…. somewhere Pleasantly Sunny of course, especially in Winter(s)!


Naturally, France has always been high on that list, as most of Spain is too far away, too hot and too dry to be of serious consideration. But for some reason I have had a massive blind spot: somehow Italy never seriously figured into my equations!? Sun? It has plenty, in Sommer as well as in Winter, the temperature depends on location.


(Mountains or high up in the hills is milder in temperature!) 

But more recently – reluctantly and slowly – I came to the conclusion I was “getting too old for that shit”: restorations would be beyond my physical capability. Ideas of living abroad (semi-)permanently also seemed beyond my reach. Then, just as I was ready to concede the dream was no longer obtainable, things changed, maybe….??!!

Hans has been dreaming the same kind of thing as I did: we even discussed ideas, options, locations etc. BUT… Hans does have “a thing” for Italy; has always looked at options there! In Spring of 2017, he had been out, scouting a few objects that might fit the bill for him! Some of the objects even were places I found and mentioned to him! 😃  But while he was looking around – and disappointed with what he went to inspect – he was one lucky day directed by some friends (locals) to yet another house and this one hit all the marks: he quietly fell in love with it!

This being in Italy and the paperwork required there…. Well, if you ever read Asterix and Obelix on Roman Bureaucracy, you will know what I’m saying! Finally, the sale was completed in early 2018. 

Anica and I have stayed there several times already! It is indeed a little slice of paradise!

Chapter II

Things were looking up: Anica and I had a 2-week holiday and looked at the separate ruin on Hans' land. It was big, much bigger than we expected, or needed. It is connected to the water mains which is a big plus. It had already been approved to be rebuilt as a house: it no longer has an agricultural function in the registers. Because of the commercial resale value, it became way too expensive for us, especially as it would require demolition and rebuild. Finding the perfect place went on the back burner once again…. 

But these searches are wont to have more twists & turns than the highest of mountain passes! Still on that first visit, one of the last days of April 2018 we took a dirt-road from Hans’ place into the mountains. The road most closely resembled a dry river bed, not a road at all, but that did not stop me. A beautiful view, higher up the mountain did stop us, however. We enjoyed it, got back into the car and drove on…


… and spotted this ruin in the distance. I got curious and as we got closer, then we noticed an artificial lake “just” below it. We looked around and took pictures and by now I was really keen to have a look at the ruin as well! What we discovered was indeed a total ruin: complete with a collapsed roof and collapsed wall and a tree growing inside it. Another total rebuild project, in the middle of nowhere. It oozed charm & potential.


It is facing almost due East and has the most spectacular views! The second highest mountain in Tuscany, Monte Amiata is standing smack in the middle of these views!

It used to be a farm building. That means that for instance at present there is no electricity, no water, no sewage system, no showers & toilets, and another little chestnut: no permission to live there or use it as a (holiday?) home. Good points and a few really bad points as well: not the perfect choice!

Things to consider that we learned from this property are the distance to shops, public transport, friends, public utilities and the quality of the road for easy access. That led to a brief consideration of an apartment in the town of Arcidosso. But apartments have no land, a big wish of Anica, who wants "room for a pony" as Hyacinth Bucket would say. So an apartment or townhouse was also ruled out.


Chapter III

The project (house) now has a name, to make it tangible. When staying in Hans' place I found very old weighing scales. In Italian: 

stadera
[sta-dè-ra]
s.f.

Bilancia formata da un'asta metallica graduata su cui scorre un peso costante, da un gancio per il quale deve essere tenuta al momento della pesata e da un piatto, appeso a un'estremitĂ  dell'asta, in cui va posto l'oggetto da pesare



One day *this* one will be in or at the house!

By now Anica and I had been there two more weeks, this time in Summer which made our determination even firmer! I made another trip in late Autumn, among other things to inspect another object with a nice view, several thousand square meters of land and closer to towns.... but it was bordering on a busy main road, it was once again a ruin, requiring a rebuild and it was quite expensive. Ruled out.

My most recent trip going to Hans' place was in December 2018. The weather even late December, the friendliness of the locals, the Christmas festivities, it all felt so right! Or imagine discovering that the tiny Church of Salaiola celebrates it's consecration on September 18th., my birthday, like it's meant to be! 

I looked at a nice plot of land just outside of Salaiola (unsure if it is for sale or even if a building permit would be possible) but with no sun in the afternoon. In the center of the hamlet, there is another, smaller, plot of land, this one with a building permit and it is for sale, but quite steep and again, not that well located for the sun. So both of these objects have some good points but certainly do not "tick all the boxes!"

Chapter IV

Still that same December visit, just before I fell ill I took a trip to the village of Monticello Amiata. It is another charming little Tuscan hilltop village, with a truly beautiful historic center! By chance, I spotted a sign that seemed to indicate a property for sale, but it was so faded I could not decipher the phone number. Curiosity got the better of me: I climbed the fence to look around.... 



.... and found a nice little building surrounded by a large, level plot of land, like a garden!



Just across the deep valley to the east is the hilltop town of Montelaterone. It also has views of Monte Amiata. OriĂŤntation to the sun, as well as the hours it receives sunlight, even on the Winter Solstice, were just about perfect! I had to know more! 



This property is halfway between Hans' place and Monticello, on a provincial road, but a quiet one. There is a bus stop 500 meters away on the crossroad with Salaiola. Hans' paradise is 3 Km by car, 2 on foot. Monticello is also 3 Km, has shops, a pharmacy and a doctor's post. Arcidosso, the regional center is between 5 & 6 Km away. Close by, at about 300 meters is a Bed & Breakfast. The owner, Monica, gave me the first little bit of info. Of course, I used Google Earth and Google Earth view for more.

Then, a stroke of good fortune, the next day as I went back there was a car there. I met the owner and he showed me around and confirmed to me his desire to sell. He bought the place on impulse, for the views, but does not have enough time for it. I learned the land on the other side of the road is also a part of it; in total it may be as much as 2 hectares!




This plot is more agricultural: there are some 25 olive trees, some seem to flourish, with others in bad shape, but the land is almost flat. I can "see" a few fruit trees and perhaps some kiwis here in future.


Greta Phlix – who I recommended to Hans last year and who was the one who guided him in buying his dream property – will help me to negotiate the deal. Because electricity and water mains connections are both lacking on the property she suggests 25,000 euros is reasonable. (I'd be happy with that, or accept a higher price!) The seller invited us to make an offer, instead of mentioning his original asking price. BUT:
I will need at least a part of that amount before I can even start negotiating through Greta. She has come up with an idea that would work perfectly for me; a "Rent-to-buy" scheme, not the most common but it is in the Italian regulations as a way to conduct the business!

Chapter V

Importantly, another - more recent - dream hinges on concluding this acquisition as well: using the surplus value on my present house to help Anica to a good start in life. This will work in two ways: once I register as Italian inhabitant Anica will have the right to go to school and universities there. Some of those universities are quite good - the oldest ones' are right there in Italy - and a lot have English Language studies! They are still affordable, unlike the Dutch Universities, as Anica found out recently. 

And the proceeds from the sale of my house will probably yield twice the amount I need for Italy plus the upgrades I hope to do there! Even if that does not prove true, in 2023 the Italian property will be re-listed as a house so I can connect to the Electricity network. (I'm not sure if I *want* that but it will be possible). These things will result in a (much) higher value and (if need be) also a quicker sale!



-----------------------------


Stadera posts with lots of pictures!!

=============

Rent-to-Buy: A new way of owning your dream home in Italy
A new program created by the minds of Rent-to-Buy is called “vendor finance.” This allows a buyer to have a flexible contract used to tailor the juridical and financial bases of the agreement to both the vendor’s and the buyer’s needs. It’s a win-win situation for both the buyer and seller because the financial formula creates revenues for the seller as compensation for the vendor financing agreement.
Rent-to-Buy’s financial structure works as follows: the purchaser buys the property in monthly installments of which a significant part is paid towards the sale price and a marginal part as rent. The specific proportions of these two elements can be negotiated by the two parties. When the payment is completed in full at the end of the contract, there will be the consequent transfer of the ownership of the property (Rogito).
Of course, it’s worth keeping in mind that the buyer can choose to pay out the rest of the contract in advance and gain ownership of the property sooner, called the Buying Option. If the buyer exercises this right, he/she won't be required to pay any rent which is decidedly more convenient on the financial side.
For those thinking that this sounds too good to be true, remember that this form of buying a home has been legally approved by the Italian government in 2014. Proving to be a great solution for foreigners who want a home but who can’t obtain a mortgage because of red-tape. The Decree 133/2014 Art 23 allows for a special payment plan of maximum 10 years and the contract includes both the sale/purchase with the lease of the agreement. The legal security of such a contract is the same as anyone traditionally buying a home.
The monthly rate depends on the total sale price and the amount the buyer would pay as advance payment; however, the terms paid monthly are negotiable. For example, one agreement could be to pay 75% as part of the sale price installment and 25% as rent. You can read more about the fiscal aspects here

Why is this a good idea? Here is a list of Rent-to-Buy advantages
  • You would be able to buy a property which you wouldn’t normally be able to without vendor finance.
  • The down payment is quite reasonable compared to a “normal” mortgage, (minimum 10%).
  • The buyer is able to save money on the mortgage interest rate
  • The buyer is also saving on the mortgage tax (2% of the lent amount), the administrative cost of the bank procedure and the cost of the compulsory purchase of any bank insurance linked to the loan
  • Saving time: no need to provide an endless list of documents to be translated and notarized in the Italian Consulate
  • Immediate use of the property.
  • The possibility of sub-letting the property for short-medium-long term, thus financing (partially or totally) the monthly installments.
  • The possibility of handing over the contract, meaning that there is the opportunity to earn money on the resale within 10 years and not to have to pay the transfer tax.
  • The Deed will be filed for 10 years.

donderdag 8 november 2018

Salaiola & Stadera Thoughts




Thoughts:

First and foremost in my mind is the basic fact that – unless, by some miracle,  I win big in the lottery – pretty soon I can no longer afford this house here in Lelystad. At least I can continue living here until July 2022, but anything after that is by no means certain…. Far from  it!

Selling the house and renting something else here in Holland might be an option, but I would slowly “eat up” any savings I have, leaving nothing by the time I die, most likely. (That is the way things are set up here, unfortunately). On top of that: it is bloody hard to find livable housing at affordable prices, except maybe in the least populated & - popular areas of Holland. Having ONLY the State Pension I am at their mercy. It basically is "a fraction too much to starve, but not enough to live on"...  let alone enjoy life.


                      La Dolce Vita :)
 









This year I have seen that life in Italy could be cheaper and much more enjoyable than in HollandTake into account I “do much better” in sunnier climes (in Winter; Seasonal Affected Disorder) as long as it is not too hot, a change of course seems only logical and only a matter of time.









Heat, by the way, is very much dependent on proximity to sea and/or altitude, especially the last.






I have always liked the hills & mountains, much more so than the sea!


Over the years I have dreamed of buying & restoring an old farm(-house), but considering my age ‘that ship has sailed’…  IMHO that is no longer an realistic plan of action.

With a bit of luck I can hopefully do the following:

  • Sell this house and “pocket” a decent amount of “savings” / “profit”
  • Buy a plot of land
  • Commission a house that will be energy-neutral or even slightly –positive
  • (Do all this without a new mortgage, if at all possible!)
  • Go and live “la dolce vita” at least the best part of the year.

My previous posts were already about my “explorations” into land and house…. Hence the point I need to commission a new build! And I slowwwwly came to realize that I also need to be practical / pragmatic about the location of any plot of land!

A few thousand square meters will be more than enough, but too small would limit my rights to build: the size of the plot is linked to the allowed size of the house. Too big will be too costly and too much to maintain at my age.

In Italy / Tuscany to be allowed to commission a house being built just about the only option is to buy a plot of land with an EXISTING building of some sort!

As I intend to have an energy-neutral house, or close to it, a conversion of an existing structure is not practical and not cost-efficient. That sort of dictates the choice for land with a “pile of bricks”; a ruin – or Rudere in Italian – and that is what I tried to find.

First rule of real estate is: Location, Location, LOCATION! I did/do consider the option of buying a part of the land of Hans. The advantages are obvious: friends close by, helping each other out whenever needed, helping with his ideas of “Il Rifugio” etc etc. But I would lack the views I would so much like to have. And the "seccatoio" in it's present location has no road access!

Salaiola may have the most biodiversity, that is just about ALL they have! Some 40 mostly elderly inhabitants, the nearest bus stop at the foot of the hill (2 Km away?!), no shops nearby. OTOH it has an active society organizing events and then there is the date of their celebration of the consecration of their church: September 18th! ( A sign??! )






woensdag 3 oktober 2018

(II) Stadera





Chapter VI

The project (house) now has a name, to make it tangible. When staying in Hans' place I found very old weighing scales. In Italian: 

stadera
[sta-dè-ra]
s.f.

Bilancia formata da un'asta metallica graduata su cui scorre un peso costante, da un gancio per il quale deve essere tenuta al momento della pesata e da un piatto, appeso a un'estremitĂ  dell'asta, in cui va posto l'oggetto da pesare

One day *this* one will be in or at the house!




Chapter VII

A LOT has happened in the past few months, not all of it (yet) for publication. MANY of my previous premises & statements are now a thing of the past; up for discussion, re-evaluation, even an 180° about face!

Am I too old to build a house? Well....  Maybe I am not able to do the most physically demanding labor any more, that's true. However, building methods have evolved! 

Restoring an old ruin? Well.... Somehow maintaining and/or re-purposing that ruin might have been an option in my mind before..... like making it save & stable and use it to create a secluded patio?! I sure thought about that! And still do! 

But a place in the middle of nowhere? A small place, just for holiday purposes? NOT planning to live there (semi-)permanently? All these thoughts are now history: gone. 

For instance, I recently saw an advertisement listing an apartment for sale, that was located less than 750 meters from Arcidosso town center, less than 500 meters from 2 major supermarkets, less than 500 meters from the regional bus station, less than 1000 meters from the banks and ATM's, pharmacy, hardware shops, electronic shops etc etc....  It was sooo not what I was looking for.... yet it was sooo practical for all these reasons that I just had to consider the practicality of such a place versus "In the middle of nowhere"!

However, I have not yet decided for (or against) either choice, it just has opened my mind, broadened my search parameters! 

One thing that is - for now! - firmly set in my mind it this: I want to commission / build a new house, rather than buying and adapting / converting an old one! My firm goal is a place that is energy-neutral or even energy-positive. To achieve that with an old(er) building is way too expensive & complicated.... though not impossible, mind you!

I am a huge fan of all things bamboo; my living room floor is bamboo and I would like to invest in more bamboo stuff, but it has to be practical to do so.

Let me show you an example of the beauty of bamboo:
  
   


Alas, realistically, I cannot hope to have such a place! My plans are much more practical: 

But even if things like; 1 or 2 floors, 1, 2 or more bedrooms, size, heating method(s), budget... well, just about everything is up in the air, I DO know I want to use bamboo, where it's practical. Floors, doors, stairs if any, decks, shutters and window frames... the possibilities are there. So is the technology and, hopefully, the availability! Fortunately the PopUp people cater to individual's tastes' and wishes!


…  I just LOVE brooding on the potential, the work, the challenges, the headaches, the possible solutions, every last bit of it! 

To be continued!!

zondag 27 augustus 2017

About "Tribes" (as related to IQ!)

Very recently I came upon a post and I really wished I had known this forty to forty-five years earlier; it seems to fit like a glove and explains soooo much! I will quote the whole post (ehh 2 in fact)!

<quote>




Susanna Viljanen, works at Aalto University


Not very much. They both are screwed.
The reason is the communication range, which is +/- 30 points (two standard deviations) to each direction. The communication range is the range of IQ where meaningful interaction (= conversation, human relations, socializing etc) is possible. For IQ 145 it is 115 to 175; for IQ 160 it is 130 to 190. The communication range restricts the segment of people in the society where they can find any meaningful social interaction - and where they are accepted as members of company.
For someone with IQ of 145, the lower threshold of 115 means he or she is restricted more or less in the academia or top notch professionals: all in all, his or her communication range covers 15% of populace. But someone with IQ of 160 finds his or her communication range limited at 130 - effectively restricting it to Mensa qualifying people - which is some 2% of population.
They both are likely to be extremely lonely, perceived as nerds, geeks or freaks by the rest of the society, and most likely single. The one with IQ of 145 will find it easier as his or her communication range is wider. Someone with IQ of 160 is most likely to be either an academic lab rat - or completely marginalized and perceived as an outcast.
After 130 IQ does not really matter much any more on one’s performance. IQ of 130 is enough for almost any profession, vocation or trade imaginable (unless your ambition is to become a chess professional or win a Nobel prize). Other things begin to have more significance: diligence, ambition, persistence, perseverance, family background, human relations etc. After 130 IQ begins to become more of a liability than an asset, and the greater the IQ, the greater also the problems.
IQ is like height: slightly more than average is an advantage, much more than average is a disadvantage.


Susanna Viljanen, works at Aalto University

Let’s say high IQ is a blessing which comes with a terrible price. And each and every person with reading east from 135 has paid that price.
High IQ persons usually have also extremely vivid and wide spectrum of emotions and emotional life, and when they are happy, they are in rapture, and when they are unhappy, it is sheer emotional hell. The IQ is a great enabler, and it unfortunately also enables to experience unhappiness in much deeper and profound ways than anyone with mediocre IQ would.
Homo sapiens are herd animals, and humans are most happy when they are among their own herd - or tribe, as I call it. Unfortunately lika barn leka bäst - similar kids play best together - and the more homogeneous a group is, the more integrated and tightly knit the group is and the less there are internal conflicts or disputes. When someone is excluded from a group, ousted or ostracized, it makes him or her unhappy. Loneliness and exclusion is the most common reason for anomie - losing the reason for life and will to live and to commit suicide.
And overtly high IQ is the most certain way to get excluded and ousted. The reason is the communication range. It makes you different and not fitting in.
The concept of communication range was established by Leta Hollingworth.***   It is +/- 2 standard deviations (roughly 30 points) up or down on one’s own IQ. It denotes the range where meaningful interaction (communication, discussion, conversation and socializing) is possible. If the IQ difference between two persons is more than 30 points, the communication breaks up. The higher IQ person will look like an incomprehensible nerd and the lower IQ as a moronic dullard - and they will not find anything common.
+/- 30 points does not sound much, but once the IQ is past 135, the downsides are imminent. When someone has a perfectly mediocre IQ (100 for Caucasian average), his communication range is from IQ 70 to IQ 130, which covers some 98% of the whole population. But when it is 135, it is from 105 to 165, which is approximately 36% of population. And it gets worse: if it is 162, your whole meaningful set of human interactions is restricted to Mensa qualifying people only (2% of whole population). Good luck for finding friends, acquaintances, colleagues - or spouse.
And it gets worse.
When the average IQ of a group is lower than the lower end of your communication range, the group will see you as a hostile outsider. They will do anything to bully you out of their presence. They will ostracize, excommunicate and oust you among themselves.
Sorry, but this is basic human psychology. Human group dynamics dictates that when the diversity grows too big, the group becomes inoperable - the group interaction becomes impossible. And high IQ means exactly that.
You may say that nobody must left behind and that mobbing and bullying is nasty and unacceptable, but our biology dictates otherwise. Exclusion is the basis for co-operation. A group which does not exclude people differing from the norm off or otherwise eliminate their presence, becomes dysfunctional.
Let me put this bluntly: every single human being with IQ of 135+ has experienced this exclusion, ousting and loneliness. The stereotype of a lonely genius does not come from empty air. It is cruel reality. And each and every human being with IQ of 135+ has experienced such unhappiness and misery the mediocre IQ people can not even imagine in their nightmares. I have cried my cubic meter of tears.
And this issue - that unhappiness is due to loneliness and the loneliness is due to the communication range - is something very few high IQ people ever realize.
The secret for happiness is to find your own tribe. To find a group of reference where the average IQ is well on your communication range and where you are accepted as what and who you are and where you are genuinely liked and approved. On my own case, it is sailors and skydivers. The average IQ in both groups is well beyond 130.
Once you have found your own tribe, the unhappiness and misery will lift off. You will experience something which comes naturally to the mediocrities. You may even find meaningful human relations, friends and even wife or husband there. It is no secret many skydivers are either single - or married to each other.
Let me illustrate this with a personal example.
I have volunteered in the Finnish military. The Finnish military is based on universal male conscription, while females may volunteer. Since all able-bodied men are bound to serve on pain of prison, the cohort really is an intersection of the whole society.
If we discount us girls (we slept in a separate lodge but trained with boys) the boot camp consisted of conscripted boys. The average IQ of Finns is 99 (Vanhanen & Lynn et al). It was very much an intersection of boys born on one certain year. Our company consisted of some 160 boys, of which 15 were washed out during the boot camp. This would predict there were 4 boys (and me) whose lower limit of communication range IQ was over the average, and 4 whose upper limit IQ was below it. Needless to say, all but one of the low end boys were washed out. But those with top high IQ had real difficulties on fitting in - as did I have. I won’t go to details but let’s say there were conflicts.
Once the boot camp were over and we were officially Privates, the selection for special training was made. I was assigned to a technical and demanding branch, where the average IQ was almost one standard deviation higher than in the boot camp. Now if the boot camp had felt like a prison or concentration camp, the specialist training was more akin to comprehensive school. I found it much easier to fit in and my motivation to serve returned.
When an opportunity to apply for officer training opened, I thought it would provide me a way to climb a couple of rungs on the military ladder from the bottom of the food chain. To my surprise I was approved. The training was hard and tough - the boot camp had been only a mild prelude compared to what we cadets had to endure - but we all were volunteers, and the average IQ of military engineering cadets was close to 130. From the first day on I felt I am now amongst my own. I liked each and every minute of it. While the training was straight from Hell, I can still remember the team spirit and the unity we experienced. It was like being in a boarding school, like Eton or Harrow. We formed life-long friendships.
Unfortunately, I failed as an officer. My IQ at the lower end of my communication range was higher than the average of the privates - they saw me as an incomprehensible nerd and would not accept me as their leader. So I resigned and went for academia.
It is a clichĂŠ to say “all high IQ people are generally unhappy”. No, they aren’t. IQ is a great enabler, nothing more. But I would say all high IQ people have experienced such terrible unhappiness which is utterly uncommon amongst lesser brainy. And the reason for that is the communication range, which breeds loneliness. But once they find their own tribe, they become happy as they can be.

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http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/highly-and-profoundly-gifted/leta-hollingworth-birthmother-pg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leta_Stetter_Hollingworth